|"..some things i cannot change, but TILL I TRY I'LL NEVER KNOW.."
||[Mar. 21st, 2005|09:12 am]
|||||chatter of people playing counterstrike..||]|
so yea sry i hadda cut my last entry short....i was on the moms computer and i wasnt supposed to...and just as i was riting she comes home...so yea im in web design now tryin 2 finish up some of my pages that r due after break....but i decided i shudd take the time to rite and check up on LJ cuz i can only go on here in school cuz my internet is beng a stupid banister-window-licker.
so yea...i decided to try out for skyliners, the colonials, and the haydenettes (haha). hayden and colonials are a long shot and even if i do make them, i wont do them cuz hey look, they're up in massachusetts. but this past season has been one i would not like to relive. ask my friends @ school, i was complaining to them about it and im sorry cuz u guys had lke no idea what i was babbling about. i mean sure, we went to nationals, and lord knows i had so much fun there, but i want to go on to do synchro in college. and i feel that my team is slowly decreasing my chances of making me better so i will have the skills to participate on a top college team. for the past 6 years i've skated for t.i., (since 1999!) and since 5th grade, i've changed and grown as a person. i'm not the same person i was in 5th grade, and i think i need to start a new chapter of my life. this is sort of lke an end of an era for t.i., because 2 people who i've known since my start in synchro have graduated. and i know it wont be the same without them. i mean thinking about team image with no anna/jen and susie/nicole? its simply mindboggling. if i do decide to switch (which i havent decided yet), i want people to know that im not doing it simply because i hate t.i. all my life i've been compared to the same people, and i'd like to see how i compare in the "real" synchro world; see if im good enough. i know my relationships with some people will never be the same, and that makes me sad, but i think im prepared for the challenge. and im hoping that my relationships with the people who im close with won't waver and we'll still be corgil towards one another. and i think those people know who they are, in both instances.
i dont think my coach is handling this all too well. since i went to the 1st clinic on tuesday, she hasnt spoken to me. and last night @ a t.i. clinic, she seemed to be degrading evrything me and "e" did, and praising everything "N" and "M" did. (i'm using code just to protect people's identities. haha)
i jus realized i didnt finish my health homework. fuck. perhaps i'll edit this entry later and add in more stuff. but for now, i want everyone to know that if i do leave i intend to leave with as much class and pride as possible. AMEN.
i love you all, and you know you love me.